Barraba Poetry Challenge - The Weather Forecaster - Terry Threlfall

The Weather Forecaster

Terry Threlfall 2015

1. The common theme for any group,

In the pub, on the bus, on the train,

On farm, in city, or the bush,

"Tell me: is it going to rain?"

2. Many years ago I worked it out,

As I travelled to different parts.

I had studied meteorology,

And could read those synoptic charts.

3. I'd get the paper every day,

And study, with great insight

Those arrows, circles, lines and wavy bits,

My forecast was absolutely right.

4. Clockwise winds went left (or was it right?)

Across the map, drawing moisture down,

From way up north (or from out to sea?)

Most certainly to bring us rain.

5. I'd assure my doubting companions,

Getting ready: "We'll be right mate",

It's clear we will reach our destination,

Well before the conditions deteriorate.

6. I'll tell them, with confidence and charm,

As I demonstrate the complex reasoning,

"The wind won't change till after dark,

And we'll be safe inside, by any reasoning."

7. But alas, so often it would happen,

With the lunch we'd brought from town,

When it's all laid out, the wind would change,

And rain (yes, the rain!) would tumble down.

8. So, back to nature's classroom,

To sharpen up the tone,

Of predicting rain, forecasting change,

Foreseeing disaster, flood, and cyclone.

9. Fortunately things have changed as well.

From weatherman or Weatherzone I learn,

"We'll cross to the Bureau (or Weatherchannel)"

Computer models dominate at every turn.

10. My computer goes into overdrive,

I bookmark all the sites,

I tune to all the TV channels,

And programme all the times.

11. ABC and SBS, Channels Seven, Nine and Ten,

Sport forecasts and track alerts, is cricket on? hooray!

Nature channel and weather channel, forecasts long and short,

We'll amass the information, dead accurate today.

12. I watch the men and woman, experts to be sure,

Maps and charts and graphs, percentages quite vigorous.

The websites, blogs, tweets and chatrooms,

Fills my head and screen, information most rigorous.

13. After days and months I feel depressed.

All that detail, too much information.

In all of this, I begin to think,

There is a single clue, on some station.

14. So I watch TV, all with great attention,

All those smart forecasters, watch them every session,

There has to be a clue I'm surely missing,

Be it gesture, word, emotion, or expression.

15. A gorgeous blonde on Channel Seven,

All teeth and hair, with legs at ten feet tall,

Her words of wisdom quite lost to glamour,

Clothes and shoes and cleavage, overwhelming all.

16. I then decide, try channel Ten,

Some crazy clown called Tim, or Jim, or Ron.

His silly walks, and squawks, and antics I can't stand,

I turn him off - that fool is then way gone.

17. Turning to the ABC, there's Graham Cread.

He tells us straight, simple, serious but tight.

The words I hear make lots of sense,

"Rain is due, the sun shines here, clear and bright."

18. So I watch him closely, day by day,

And then, I swear without a lie,

The code is there, it's easy to get right -

The answer is - the colour of his tie!